Geek Jokes

Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Four hundred and seventy-two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, on to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle, ...


Q: How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark it it? OK, there could be four or five things wrong...Have you tried the light switch?"


Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder."


Q: How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problem."


Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. Two holding the ladder, and one to screw the bulb into the faucet.


Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem and has assigned you request service number 39,712. Please use this number for any future references to this light-bulb issue."


Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light-bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light-bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light-bulb-change message."


Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "The light bulb works fine on the system in my office..."


Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "We can change the light bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 p.m., and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight."


Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.


Q: How long does it take a DEC repairman to change a light bulb?

A: It depends on how many burntout bulbs he brought with him.


Q: How many Newton users does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "Foux! there to eat lemons, axe gravy soup."


Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Eight. One to work the light bulb, and seven to make sure Microsoft get US$2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.


(from WIRED, December 1994, p 47 -- Circulating Net meme.)


(Terry L Anderson)
tla@bell-labs.com